 I used to be terrified at the mere thought of travelling by train in Italy.
I hated the old carriages and the frequent delays.
My trip last week across Northern Italy was quite different though …. almost soothing.
I left from the southern shore of Lake Garda and travelled to Piedmont to visit friends.
On the way, I had to change trains in Tortona, in the heart of the Po valley. I arrived around noon when all Italians are at lunch. I was alone on the platform with the exception of a gentleman immersed in an animated conversation in Mandarin on his cell. He wore bright orange pants and T-shirt with a giant shamrock.
The situation was so pleasantly surreal. I felt suspended in time. The heat was turning the tracks into a Fata Morgana.
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The train to Alessandria finally arrived and I got on. I was indulging in more day-dreaming when I was rudely brought back to reality by an agitated dialogue between the train conductor and a passenger sitting next to me. The poor guy had not stamped his ticket…. The machine at his station apparently did not work. So “what was he supposed to do?” The conductor was adamant. He would have to pay a fine.
Quickly, I realised that what I was observing was a typical power show by an Italian train conductor. It wasn’t the first time… I had forgotten all about them. What made the situation even more absurd was the fact that this particular conductor had a Piedmontese accent like a character in The Leopard. The one who tries to explain to the Sicilian prince the advantages of the reunification of Italy and ends up looking like a caricature.
I often wonder. Is it because Italy was invaded so many times over the centuries that its civil servants always behave like the country’s worst nightmare?
I drifted off further in my thoughts… my fellow passenger meanwhile was standing his ground and refusing to pay. The conductor had handed him his paperwork and had left with a proud sour face.
The train reached Alessandria. Time for the agitated passenger and me to get off. Before parting, we exchanged a last knowing smile…. Italy’s only weapon against train conductors on a power trip?!?
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